Mom had been getting a little forgetful for a few years now. When it started we laughed it off. I have my so-called senior moments and I am not a senior yet. When it started to worry her she asked me about making plans for her care. Mom was very practical. She was all about handling a situation and putting aside the emotions. It is what helped her in her career making critical decisions for other people. Now we were talking about long term senior care in Queens NY when she could no longer take care of herself. It was no longer if but when. That was what she kept telling me. I liked to look on the bright side and hope for the best. Mom did hope for the best, but she had a lifetime of preparing for the worst. That is why companies hired her to make tough decisions for them.
Now she told me I had to be involved in helping her make a tough decision. She told me I had to be involved so that I would not try to change her plans later on. She knew my wife and I wanted to take her to live with us, but she was having none of that. She knew we had a small place and our two special needs children needed a lot of attention. She has been a rock in helping us through the daily work of taking care of our twin babies who need a lot of extra care. She said she absolutely was not going to further burden us by having to care for her.
Mom could see the strain on our faces as my wife and I worked long hours to make a way for the four of us. She knew that adding her care to the mix would be too much. I knew that too but was unwilling to face or accept it. She told me how much I reminded her of dad. He left all of the tough decisions to her, but she did not mind that. It was in her nature to do it. Now she was deciding again and helping me to see that there is no blame or regrets. Just move forward and love as long as you have breath in you.